Wednesday, 23 December 2009

My Cinema Pet-Hates #1

This will be the first in a no-doubt endless list of things that piss me off about cinema-goers, the cinema and films in general.

#1: People who chair-jive to the Pearl & Dean music.

You know who you are.

The lights go down, the Pearl & Dean logo appears and you start shimmying about in your seat in time to the music, amusing your friends/dates with a variety of jazz-hands and facial gurns. It's not impressive or funny that you can mime along to a song that simply contains the word "BAH" repeated over and over again and if I had my way, a trap-door would open beneath your seat and dump you into a lake of excrement and barbed-wire.

My disdain for this practice has nothing at all to do with the fact that I am shut in a room with no natural light for long periods of time, am unable to watch the film and am forced to observe your wacky-fun-times through a tiny window whilst I suffer my boring-shit-times.

Far from it. Although sometimes projectionism does feel like organising a party and then locking yourself in a cupboard for its duration, occasionally peeking through the key-hole to see who's enjoying themselves.


  1. I am now going to spy for the Pearl and Dean Jivers. Can't believe I have been missing out!

    Kate xx

  2. Cheers, Kid! Next time I'll try and make all the paragraphs that good!

    Kate: I think people don't even know they're doing it. It's like an involuntary spasm. You could be one of them and you might not realise!