Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Upcoming Films that I am Curious About: Part Two

Here's some more films that are due out this year which have my attention for one reason or another.

As some of these films are a long way from release, they don't have official stills or trailers so, in that case, simply read the words and try to use your mental imaging faculties to create an impression of what the film might look like. It's fun!

(All opinions featured in this post are completely unfounded and speculative and liable to be revoked without notice)

Due Date

Robert Downey Jnr (the New King of You) and beardy Zach Galifianikis get together with the director of The Hangover for a "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" rehash about a bloke trying to get home for the delivery of his baby. Not by DHL or summat, I mean from a lady's womb. Seemingly lame idea gets my attention by having RDJ on board. Seriously, I would watch a cardboard box if I thought he was in it.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Judging from the trailer; Nic Cage goes from subtly ridiculous scene-stealing in "Kick-Ass" to being out-performed by his wig again. It's based on that bit in "Fantasia" when Mickey Mouse gets raped by loads of brooms, features the nerd-box from "Tropic Thunder" and "Knocked Up" as the titular apprentice, has Doc Ock, the Legend that is Toby Kebbell and people hurling Street Fighter-style fireballs around. Amusing family adventure romp, or load of sweaty toss-beans? It's up in the air at the moment.

Centurion/Eagle of the Ninth

It's battle of the ninth legions as Neil Marshall's high-octane runaround/slashemup "Centurion" goes head to head with Kevin Mcdonald's Roman GI Joe-thing, "The Eagle of the Ninth".

Marshall's film sounds more simplistic and actiony, dealing with a legion - trapped behind enemy lines in Scotland - having to fight their way to safety. Kind of like "Bravo Two Zero" with leather skirts. Its strong cast is headed up by Michael Fassbender, Jimmy McNulty and Mickey the Idiot from Doctor Who, and features Olga Kurylenko from the "Question of Sport" Bond film as some kind of mute, Pictish assassin. Sounds like hearty chuckles all round, but Marshall has a spotty history from the sublime ("Dog Soldiers", "The Descent") to the ridiculous ("Doomsday"). Here's hoping it swerves more towards the earthy camaraderie and punchy violence of his debut werewolf/Sean Pertwee extravaganza.

McDonald's film, meanwhile, deals with the aftermath of the incidents which inspired "Centurion". Twenty years after the disappearance of the Ninth legion (is that a spoiler for "Centurion", then?) a young centurion heads into Scotland to find out what went on. It sounds more contemplative and dramatic than choppy and slicey, dealing with the centurions quest to make peace with his absent father or summat. McDonald made the excellent "Last King of Scotland" and "Touching the Void", and the pretty decent "State of Play", so should bring a studied, observant realism to proceedings, but may be completely scuppered by his leading man. Channing Tatum is a fucking mannequin. Here's hoping he can come to life like Kim Cattrall. "And we can build this thing together..."


Ryan Reynolds gets buried alive in a coffin with nothing but a lighter and a mobile phone. That's it. That's all it is. That's going to take some Hitchcock skills to make an enjoyable film out of, so I am curious to find out how it goes.

Your Highness

This seems worth a look simply because of the sheer peculiarity of it. Apparently it's a stoner comedy set in a Narnia-style medieval fantasy world. Yep. Danny McBride is always good for a chuckle, James Franco still has uncharted comedic fathoms, there's the double-whammy nerd-fantasy of Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel, and I read somewhere that they have Harryhausen-style stop-motion monsters instead of trendy CGI. Director David Gordon Green has compared it to "Krull", and McBride has said that, upon viewing a cut of the film, he couldn't believe somebody actually gave them the money to make it. Which is a good thing, right?


Now, I like a bit of Angelina Jolie as much as the next man (you know which bit I mean), but there's a bit in that trailer where she's running and jumping in MASSIVE clod-hopping boots that just makes me think "that's incredibly detrimental to the verisimilitude of the piece". In layman's terms, it looks FUCKING STUPID. This gets on the list because, although it looks like "Mission: Impossible" with a hot chick instead of a dinky man, it also looks quite fun, exciting and features Sabretooth and the Operative as the Tommy Lee Joneses on Angie's shapely fugitive tail.

Let Me In

"Let the Right One In" was one of my favourite films of last year, so I am loathe to accept this Yankee remake. The casting of the kid from "The Road" as the male lead and Hit-Girl as his blood-sucking bestie goes a little way to generating hope, however, and Matt Reeves' work on "Cloverfield" shows he can tell a surprising story with a lot of grit and no compromises. I'd like it to be good, but if it's not: we still have the original.

The Social Network

Anything from David Fincher ("Seven", "The Game", "Fight Club", "Zodiac", er... "Benjamin Button"? And... well, "Panic Room"... and... Oh..."Alien 3") is worthy of interest, and this seems like a topical erm... topic that he might be able to spin something interesting out of. It's about the creation of Facebook! Hey, come back! It's also got Justin Timberlake in it! Where are you going!? It'll be good! I think.

The Other Guys

Will Ferrell and Marky Mark in a buddy-cop comedy? That's a bingo! Sammy Jackson and The Rock as their super-cop nemeses? Right on! Steve Coogan as some gimpy English version of Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon 2? Get in! Spicy Eva Mendes as schlubby Will Ferrell's wife? Er... What? Director of Anchorman does ensemble comedy in my personal favourite genre? It's a long shot, but it might just work!

Paranormal Activity 2

This was almost in the "Upcoming Films that fill me with Dread" post (coming soon) and not in a good way. The simplicity of "Paranormal Activity" will become tired if repeated and yet any variation or evolution of content is liable to negate the subtle atmosphere generated in the first film. The dude who made the first one is off doing summat else, so they've drafted in some gimp who made a "Saw" film or summat. It's just gonna be "Blair Witch 2" all over again, innit? Curious about this one because I can't see how they can make it different without making it shit.

My Soul to Take

Wes Craven writing and directing a slasher movie? I'm there. What's that, it's about someone killing people who share his birthday? That sounds a bit mouldy-cock. And it was completed sometime last year and has been sitting on a shelf, allegedly due to Craven and the studio-gimps disagreeing on tone and content (Craven=harsh, studio=fluffy)? Well, whatever it was when Craven shot it, it's unlikely that's what we'll see. Or will we...

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

I only saw the original Wall Street once upon a time, but two things stuck with me: The scene where Chucky Sheen breaks down as he's guided through his office in handcuffs, and Mickey Douglas being a reet slimey get. Douglas is back, assisted by Shia "nonononononono!" LaBeef, perky up-and-comer Carey Mulligan, Skeletor and the big lad from "Goonies". Gets on this list simply due to the mobile phone gag in the trailer. He's been in prison so long that his phone is obsolete! JUST LIKE HIM! Etc.

This concludes the list of films I am curious about. No doubt there are others which have slipped my mind or escaped my attention, but these are the ones for now. Come back soon for a bilious rant about the upcoming films that fill me with dread and be ready to tell me that I have too much time on my hands and take movies far too seriously.


  1. Interesting set of movies. Just to comment that The Eagle of the Ninth story, by Rosemary Sutcliff, was around long before Centurion, and since the film of the book's title is the one actually based on it, was always going to be more contemplative etc!
    more at www.rosemarysutcliff.wordpress.com

  2. I'm interested in the Sorcerers Apprentice just because it looks like it would be a nice test-of-the-marketing-waters for a potential Dresden Files movie... And I would sacrifice a baby goat to see a good Dresden Files movie.

    ...Of course I'd sacrifice a flawless black bull for a good Dune movie, but I don't think that will ever happen.

  3. Everything that David Gordon Green has made since Undertow kind of baffles me (upcoming Susperia remake included) and yet, even though I wrote off Pinapple Express Green still managed to make it his own in spite of the fact that the material is not up to his calibre as a serious artist, so I guess I;ll try to be open minded about your highness. I also am looking forward to the Nic Cage flick because, as stupid as it looks, it looks stupid in that fun, inoffensive way that the National Treasure movies are stupid.

  4. Let the right one is one of my recent fave films. I'm not convinced I want to see the remake though. But, me being me, I will see it anyway. Can't help myself.

    I also want to know how Ryan Reynolds will get reception on my his mobile phone if he's buried. I barely get reception and I'm above ground!

    Good list though. I do love the movies!

  5. The sorcerer's apprentice looks neat effects-wise but Cage looks like a crack-head hobo. Due Date has the potential to be really good, as does The Other Guys (Samuel L. Jackson is basically just playing an impersonator's version of himself at this point) and I still need to watch Let The Right One In! Aggh. Your Highness sounds...interesting. "You must be this high to view movie"