Friday, 18 June 2010

Wild Target: Hit and Miss?

Nope. Just miss.

"Wild Target" is this year's "Three and Out", it's "Confetti" for 2010. Don't remember those films? Exactly. In years to come, "Wild Target" will be little more than a blip on the CVs of some talented performers, a late night curio that'll make you go "What're THEY doing in THIS?".

The film is a remake of a French movie which deals with the familiar story of a Hitman developing a conscience. The man doing the hitting is Bill Nighy - delivering a performance which somehow manages to feel like a caricature of a Bill Nighy performance - and the hittee is played by Emily Blunt - foregoing her usual charismatic presence for a character who never takes her foot off the pedal marked "annoying". Nighy's assassin is hired to kill Blunt's art-thief, but changes his mind and ends up protecting her instead. Oh, and Rod from Harry Potter tags along for no particular reason n'all.

A sluggish and obvious caper-flick, an inert chase-movie and an unfunny comedy (not offensively unfunny, just... not funny) featuring directionless plotting and aimless characterisation, particularly for Nighy's Victor Maynard and his relationships with his reluctant entourage. You can't help but laugh when you've been watching two people bug the shit out of each other for the best part of an hour, only to suddenly proclaim that they've enjoyed the time they've spent together for no other reason than they've reached the point in the plot where they have to start forming a bond in spite of their differences.

Blunt - even saddled with a self-absorbed uber-irritant of a character - still manages to intermittently light up the screen, Nighy - even on some sort of bizarro autopilot - is still watchable, and Rupert Grint plays Rod from Harry Potter. With a beard. Martin Freeman shows up as a rival hitman and "reacts" to people saying stupid stuff, like Tim-from-The Office in a trenchcoat. It's a sad state of affairs when the funniest thing in your comedy film is the fact that a capable comedic performer such as Freeman has a set of hilariously buffed up and oversized gnashers, which he displays with an array of toothy grins. "MARTIN FREEMAN'S GOT STUPID TEETH! HA!" Yeah, what else you got?

If you haven't heard of this film before now, I wouldn't be surprised. It seems to be trying to sneak past audiences like a house-guest who shit the bed: Get out before they see what a mess you made. If you have heard about it; cherish this moment. You're probably never going to hear of it again.


  1. it's ron...not rod

  2. Sad, sad...I've been craving me some Nighy.

  3. Anon: I think you'll find it's Rod. Seriously, go back and read the books, watch the films, then come back and tell me it's Rod.

    Simon: I always crave Nighy, but even he couldn't save this one.

  4. God it's weird to see this Harry Potter kid in other roles. He's grown so much. *le sigh*

  5. I like this review. Add everybody kdows it's Rod.

  6. Mr Mass,
    Just seen a lovely film in the Edinburgh Film Festival and thought of you. Obselidia is about a man collating an encyclopaedia of obselete things and he interviews a projectionist to add the job to his collection. The projectionist comes out of it quite well though so I think you'd like it. Doubt your multi-plex would show the film though, but it is worth seeing.


  7. "Rod?" seriously.....*shakes head*

  8. I've just seen it and I thought it was one of the best, feel-good films there's been in a long time. And a great British farce with suspence.

  9. Anon...don't you go dissing Rod. He's my favourite character because he always gets it wrong.

    "Rod! You got it wrong again! Stupid Rod."

  10. Annah: Is that a sad-sigh or a happy-sigh?

    Suit: Apparently not everybody. Some people seem to be under the impression that it's "Ron" or something! Have they not read the books?

    B: That sounds intriguing, but also depressing that projectionists are already being classed as obsolete. There's life in the old dog yet!

    Anon 1: Don't shake your head at Rod!

    Dave: It didn't make me feel good. It was a static farce and a limp thriller. And I can't trust your understanding of suspense when you can't even spell it.

    Anon 2: Oh, Rod. Whatever will he get wrong next?