Tuesday, 16 November 2010

The Year of the Sprocket


The Intermittent Sprocket is one year old. So, in the spirit of lazy sitcom writing, let's do a month-by-month run down of the greatest hits from this quiet little corner of internetsville. Click the links for a stroll down memory lane...

Nov '09

The Sprocket gets off to a tentative start, with only three posts for its inaugural month. Kicking off with a statement of intent/spookily prescient piece about the future of projectionism in The Digital Age, before segueing into a FAQ revealing everything you ever wanted to know about the art of shining a light onto a big canvas. Rounding out the month, we see the origins of The Sprocket's long-running hatred of the Twilight saga in Bad Moon Rising. An inauspicious start? It can only get worse!

Dec '09

Barrelling towards Christmas, productivity ramps up to exactly the same level with three more posts in a month. These include what could be called the Sprocket's first semi-proper review, a piece comparing "The Descent Part 2" and "Paranormal Activity", and a list of alternative Christmas movies filled with jovial festive spirit. We also welcomed the beginning of the short-lived My Cinema Pet-Hates series. More on that later.

Jan '10

The new year saw the workload increase exponentially, with a whole FIVE posts in the first month! Highlights included a debate of the (lack of) merit in James Cameron's Avatar, followed by a surprisingly lengthy essay on the problem with movie piracy (or "film-theft" as it is often melodramatically referred to in the industry) and a Cristoph Waltz-led lament on the loneliness of The Invisible Projectionist.

Feb '10

Honestly, fuck all of note happened in February. Have a click on February over on the right-hand side of your screen if you don't believe me.

March '10

March is where it all kicked off. Twelve posts. That's more than ten. Double figures. We're off. I am going to try to limit my self to three greatest hits per month, though, so don't worry if you're getting bored. There's the accurate prediction of the outcome of the big Avatar/Hurt Locker Oscar-showdown, a tirade against mobile phones in the cinema which forms the barnstorming finale to the Pet-Hates cycle, and a heartfelt paean to The Sprocket's first visit to a cinema.

April '10

April starts under the shadow of bad news as we discover that one of our projection team is moving on to better things in Man Down, before continuing into scathing territory as the inexplicably second-most-popular Sprocket post of all time asks What's the Deal with Sam Worthington? The month ended on the one-line statement of Why I Love Movies.

May '10

Let's kick off the merry month of May with the most disparaging Sprocket review so far, the inexcusable Street Dance, and then follow it up with a taste of philosphical self-pity and the first installment of the ever unpopular Fantasy Films series.

June '10

June brings a debate on the difference between chick-flicks and their masculine counterparts, the ever-pondered amount of projectionists it takes to change a lightbulb, and the revelation of the etymology of the name Intermittent Sprocket.

July '10

July brings the unthinkable in a slightly positive review of a Twilight movie, a bunch of silly fake poster taglines and a run of ideas for sequels, remakes and reboots which I can't believe hasn't started a bidding war in Hollywood yet.

Aug '10

August heralds a thrilling sequel to the silly poster taglines, a gripping story of terrifying homelesses in The People Under the Stairs, and the return of our old friend James Cameron and his mountain of money.

Sep '10

September brings us full circle as the prophecy of The Digital Age is finally put in motion, bringing about Judgement Day for projectionists across the land, 80s classic Tron turns out to be a bit shit and we pay tribute to the lost genius of Satoshi Kon.

Oct '10

The story of the cinema industry's final solution for projectionists continues with The Summons and The End of All Things, while The Sprocket takes solace in the arms of Sir Michael Caine (pay particular attention to the comments at the end of that one!).

Nov '10

Bringing us up to date, we have the profound image of a cinema in flames for our cataclysmic 100th post, a pretty positive review of a film that nobody else seems to like, and the realisation that I am going to miss all this when it's gone.

And there you have it. A year of life in a cinema projection booth. I hope you've enjoyed reading it more than I've enjoyed living it.

Hopefully there's life in the old blog yet, but it remains to be seen for how long!

Thanks to everyone who reads, everyone who comments (even you, anonymous!), everyone who follows, everyone who likes, and everyone who comes here searching for bizarre and perverse keyword combos. I may just be pissing in the wind, but with you lot around, at least I've got someone to laugh about it with.

Here's to another year.

12 comments:

  1. Stop posting like it's all over! You're blog has entertained me far too much throughout this year too end! How else will I find out the always-entertaining and brutally honest truth about films I'm about to see?!?

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  2. It says "Here's to another year" at the end! That's optimistic!

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  3. (Imaginary toast) Congrats on the year! May your ornery cinema stylings continue for many more to come!

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  4. I'm going to come back in a year so I only have to read the top three from each month.
    Crappy first bifday.

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  5. I can't tell you how happy I am to see that you have a beard and wear a crown.

    Keep writing this blog even if you get made redundant. Just make it up. And get yourself on Twitter will you?

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  6. I watched a film once. It was quite good.

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  7. The crown is very fetching. Happy anniversary!

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  8. Happy Birthday!! Once your career as a projectionist is over you should pursue a career as a writer because truth be told this is the best written blog I've yet to come across. Maybe I'm bias being a fellow projectionist and I know, understand and agree with 99.98% of what you write about. You're like the new Danny Wallace :D

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  9. Thank-you all for your time and generosity. I'll be around for a while yet, don't you worry!

    Cheers to all!

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  10. Happy birthday! Bend over for a spanking.

    ...er, was that not in my 'inside' voice?

    Oh dear. Annnnyway, I'm relieved to hear that you'll still be around, even if you haven't a clue what you'll be doing. And hurrah! I can go on holiday again.

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