Monday, 20 December 2010

The Golden Sprockets 2010

Welcome to the first ever "Golden Sprockets" award ceremony.

Below, I will be announcing the winners of the coveted "Sprockies", a celebration of all the cinematic things that passed my eyes in the last twelve months or so.

Bear in mind I haven't seen all the year's films, so this will be purely subjective and largely unfounded. And may (will) contain swearing and crude wordings.

Without further ado:

The "most near-the-knuckle, potentially offensive but ultimately fucking hilarious and surprisingly powerful comedy" award goes to:

Four Lions




The "labyrinthine but ultimately predictable plot strangely doesn't detract from visually, sonically and actor-ily brilliant film" award goes to:

Shutter Island




The "looked like a shitty kid-flick but was actually a rousing and engaging adventure for all the family (I said 'a rousing', not 'arousing')" award goes to:

How to Train Your Dragon




The "pure, visceral cinematic joy in spite of slightly contradictory message and tonal discrepancy with source material" award goes to:

Kick-Ass




The "predictably awesome" award goes to:

Toy Story 3




The "see? blockbuster thrillers don't have to be brainless" award goes to:

Inception




The "nerd-gasmic sugar-rush" award goes to:

Scott Pilgrim vs the world




The obligatory, yet deserved award for "probably the best film of the year" goes to:

The Social Network




The "better actress than most twice her age" award goes to:

Chloe Moretz.




The Sprocket for "Best Crazy Acting-Face Man" goes to:

Frowny Leo DiCaprio




The "nerd fantasy" award is shared between:

Scarlett Johansson



Olivia Wilde



Mary Elizabeth Winstead




The "uncomfortable man-crush" award is shared by:

Robert Downey Jr.



Joseph Gordon Levitt




The "waste of screen-space" award is shared by:

Sam Worthington and Gemma Arterton




The "most hilariously clunky exposition" award goes to the bit in the tent in:

Prince of Persia.




The "worst film I actually sat through" award goes to:

Street Dance 3D




The "film I quite liked, but everyone else thought was bum-chunder" award goes to:

Skyline




These awards were voted for by members of the exclusive Intermittent Sprocket Academy of Motion Picture Arse. If you disagree, get your own movie blog, you fairy!

HERE'S TO NEXT YEAR!

10 comments:

  1. Hilarious, as always. I loved the speech bubbles. And your categories. Fantastic.

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  2. Man, these were great, I laughed my ass off! My faves included the Leo face, Social Network and "I will not go back to the frozen banana stand!"

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  3. I have a serious man-crush on James Franco.

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  4. I thoroughly enjoyed this post...can't wait to see what you choose to review in the new year!! Are you going to be seeing "Black Swan?" I have heard mixed reviews!

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  5. Liked this post definitely. I still want to see how to train your dragon

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  6. K: Cheers!

    Abbie: Very kind of you!

    Sugar: Can't beat an A.D. reference!

    Maf: I have a serious man-crush on you.

    Kat: I will be watching Black Swan as soon as I can. It's not out over here yet.

    Xay: HTTYD is possibly my personal favourite film this year. It's the first actual threat Dreamworks have made to Pixar.

    Nicole: You are!

    Thank you all for comments!

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  7. Loved the post, I literally laughed out loud. I've gotta ask you dear Movie-Guru, WTF was Scott Pilgrim about? Was there some underlying message that i completely missed out on? Should I have watched it on hallucinogenics to understand it? Any and all feedback on the purpose of this movie would be greatly appreciated.

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  8. NO NEW POST FOR NINE DAYS?!
    I'm begging you here, man, I need some new reading material.

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