Saturday, 12 March 2011

Our Independence Day, The Cable Guys and the Flooring of Megan Fox

Slowly but surely, more details are coming to light about the impending end of projectionism as we know it. Apparently our fate will not be decided until some time in May, and then the first wave of installations is scheduled to kick off on the fourth of July.

Independence Day. We thought that was funny. We spent quite a long time doing Bill Pullman's "we will not go quietly into the night" speech, and I even got to say "we've got a panic on our hands on the fourth of July". It's kinda like cinema gallows humour.

Another telltale sign of the oncoming storm was the subtle hint delivered by two blokes turning up and spending two days fitting network cables all throughout the projection booths.

I don't like people being in the booth. They don't belong there. And these chaps were ALL OVER the booth, strewing wires and tools over the floor as they casually made the preparations for our obsolescence.

I hid from them.

I went and sat on the stairwell for most of the time they were there. I didn't cry or anything. Much.

After they'd gone, I crept out and surveyed the damage.

They actually tidied up after themselves pretty well, apart from one glaring error:

Not only did they come into our personal space with the express intention of setting events in motion which would bring about the projection apocalypse, they did so whilst TEARING DOWN A POSTER OF MEGAN FOX. A poster of Megan Fox DRESSED AS A CHEERLEADER!

I don't care if they had to fix the cables to the wall, you do not take a man's Megan Fox poster down, let alone a Megan Fox poster providing decoration for a small group of anti-social men in a dark and confined space! What kind of people are we dealing with here? They're not human!

This leads me to surmise that these agents of digitalisation were, in fact, automatons themselves. Only a replicunt would touch another man's Megan Fox poster without permission. Fucking robots.


  1. I absolutely understand your anger and pain Mass.
    Nobody is allowed to desecrate a man's Megan Fox poster. That is totally unacceptable.
    Now between us ladies, may I subtly suggest you start working on that script of yours whilst you bite your nails in the bloody stairwell? :) Just a back-up plan, and because I know you can.

  2. wow. i didn't know that projectionists might be leaving us! i'm but a lowly film 'goer', not behind the machine as you

  3. I hope everything works out for you man.

  4. Maybe they were eunichs...

    "This guy's a eunich. This guy's definitely a eunich. This guy's dead."