Sunday, 13 March 2011

The Sucker Punch Regression

You know when you were a kid and you used to draw battle scenes, making sound effects for every explosion and grisly death as you drew it?

Something like this:

It can't have just been me who used to do this, and I know because Zak Snyder has apparently decided to do it on a cinema screen for his upcoming film "Sucker Punch".

The promotional material I have so far seen for this film seems to communicate with me on some kind of primal level. Snyder appears to have tapped into my juvenile lust for chaotic fantasy battles in a manner hitherto unseen; but he isn't satisfied with appealing to just one base, juvenile obsession, so he has populated his film with characters that look like this:

So he's speaking directly to my inner child and my inner horny-teenager. Take the fantasy chaos of my childish scrawlings up top, add a soupcon of fitties in bondage gear, and you get this:

So I was already on board with this film, due to the unfettered boyish glee that everything I've seen from it inspires in me, and then the movie's promotional team did something unfair. They sent us the single greatest display standee I have ever seen in my tenure at the cinema.

Here's a handily annotated photo:

Seriously, this thing is just outside the projection booth and is a source of continual distraction.

Of course, the film has the potential to be a load of bum-gas, but the combination of giant robots, samurai, fetching ladies, Nazis (although they look more WWI, so probably a bit knee-jerk to call them Nazis), dragons, guns, swords, fishnets, explosions, aeroplanes and video-game logic all make an excitable voice in my head squeal "BEST FILM EVER" whenever I ponder its quality.

The film is released on April the 1st, so it could all be an elaborate April Fool's trick to exploit my perpetually arrested development, but I doubt it.

Basically, if you can watch the trailer below and not think "I have to see that", my inner child doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. So ner.


  1. I'm a girl and it's all working on me too. BEST FILM EVER!

  2. I have to see that. It makes me feel a bit like a lesbian for wanting to see this so badly but it just looks generally awesome.

  3. Fucking shit! I love this so bad I am drooling. The fifth fucking thing is the fucking heart of a fucking dragon!
    Told you I want this bad.
    I don't care about the fetching ladies and fishnets. You can have that bit. I'm all for the guns, swords, explosions and kick ass!

  4. This is gong to be great fun, probably very cheesy but great fun anyway... I'm looking forward to it.
    Nice post!

  5. it appeals to the crazy person in me that wants to break out of the bin

  6. Hmmmm.......interesting.

    They all seem to have stripper/fake names: BabyDoll, Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie.....and AMBER??

    Since when is "Amber" a stripper name?


    :crosses arms:

    It just happens to be one of the prettiest names in the whole wide world.

  7. glad I'm not the only girl whose been dying to see this film!

  8. good to know our respective inner childs can still be friends

  9. Strong response from the ladies! So this has tremendous juvenile cross-over appeal? Found out yesterday that it's a PG13 for America and a 12A in the UK, so it's legally suitable for the kids it is so obviously aimed at!

  10. My penis is as excited as yours based on the trailer alone.

  11. Juvenile cross-over appeal or juvenile cross-dressing appeal? So looking forward to this film. It could be a load of bum-gas, but as I've said before; Led Zeppelin in the trailer: I'm sold!